Romance, Dating and Fraud

Thursday, February 21st, 2008

Dating fraud is a crime that has many names. One of the most popular names for it is the “sweetheart scam”. The crime is so named because the criminal, male or female, will begin a relationship with the victim for the sole purpose of getting as much money from them as they can before they are discovered.

Before the internet, scammers would meet the potential “suckers” at a party - maybe they passed each other on the street or they were introduced by a third party. All of this is still possible in recent times because there will always be a way for a criminal to sweet talk a path to more money. However, with computers and new technology, a competent scammer can meet and swindle twenty victims in 20 days without much effort. Online dating sites make this even easier.

The International Sob Story Scam

Men all over the world have been falling for these “sweetheart scams” when they visit websites in the hunt of a Russian bride. The “women” draw them in with lies and cunning sob stories, while they play the damsel in distress. Feeling bad for these women, the men would often send a few hundred dollars to help the ladies out of their current predicaments.

After a while the women would ask for more money, and some would even claim that the money will be used to buy a ticket so that they can visit. It can sometimes take a few months but the men slowly begin to wise up enough to realize that they have been scammed. While most will attempt to report the crime, a large number will not. They become embarrassed at the fact that they fell for the scam and decide to shrug it off as lesson learned so that no one else will find out that they were duped.

Men also pull this scam on women using a variety of means. It typically involves the male showering the lonely single female with lots of attention and gifts. They will always know the right thing to say as they worm their way deeper into a relationship. Sometimes the woman will realize that there is a problem when she begins to receive bills for huge debts - many will realize that they have been scammed when they wake up one day to find that their new boyfriend has disappeared without a trace. They may even find out that they have also been a victim of identity theft once strange bills begin appearing, or a loan application is declined.

The Victims of Identity Theft Romance and Dating Scams

Australian resident Patricia lost thousands of dollars when she began an online relationship with a man she knew as David. Like most romance fraud stories, the scammer started slow and sweet, calling and emailing her daily until he had her trust. He loved Patricia so much that he was going to Nigeria to sell the valuable land he owned before joining her, promising her she would never have to worry about money again.

Sadly, David was “attacked and robbed” once he landed in Nigeria, and the only person he could turn to was Patricia. He needed her to send money so that he could return home to Australia. Patricia soon learned that David was a façade and that she was a victim of a dating scam.

For victims like Patricia, they will have to be doubly cautious in the future. Once other scammers are aware that a particular person fell victim to a scam, others will attempt to lure them into another scam or relationship to bilk them out of more money.

Tips to Avoid Becoming a Victim of Romance Scams

If you choose to sign up for an online dating service, be aware of scammers looking for easy victims. If you begin a relationship online, look for the warning signs - excessive attention and compliments being heaped upon you right from the beginning, asking for more personal information, and a sob story about sudden financial disaster where they need your help. If your potential partner is legitimate, they will likely also be cautious about you.
Do not reveal your personal information lightly. Even in the real world, you wouldn’t suddenly give someone all your information about you.
Identity thieves and fraudsters posing as a romantic partner will often know how to say all the right things to you. They know the psychological tricks and manipulation to make you fall for them. Just like everything else in life, if something is too good to be true, it probably is.
Ask around to get reports from others. Talk to his or her friends or co-workers. If it’s an online relationship, ask others within your dating service about this person.
And, of course, use your intuition. If something doesn’t quite feel right, do not ignore the feeling just because this person seems so perfect for you.

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