Looking For Love in All the Wrong Places
The internet has long been a communications pathway among singles looking to connect.
Savvy seekers watch out for well-known red flags. For example, an individual who can never be called or contacted any way other than e-mail may warn of another person already in the picture. Someone who asks for pictures but refuses to send any in return is another unspoken warning, and of course, anyone who asks for “help” with such issues as bills can be a bad sign.
But one danger of online dating that most people don’t anticipate is the possibility of being an unwitting partner in criminal activity by a significant other who flatters, flirts and makes promises.
Jailed For Being Too Trusting?
This month, Pennsylvania-based news source The Daily Item reported the arrest of Joyce Newton, who stands accused of receiving stolen property, identity theft and criminal conspiracy to commit identity theft. Newton says she’s innocent and was only following instructions from a South African online paramour, who asked her to ship certain products to him.
Newton and a man identified by the Item only as “Omega” struck up an online friendship in 2003. It quickly led to more, including gifts from “Omega,” according to Newton. He even sent her daughter Christmas gifts, Newton claims.
He then asked Newton to receive a shipment and forward it to him. When she asked him why he couldn’t simply have the goods shipped directly to him, he claimed it had to do with policies on shipping internationally, Newton says.
But the goods—including computers—were purchased using the stolen identities of a New Jersey couple, according to prosecutors. Newton maintains her innocence, but faces serious charges that could ultimately put her in jail.
Smart Online Dating
Because it may be difficult for adults to meet eligible singles, online dating has been enormously popular since its inception. Online dating can be a good way of making introductions without having to make promises, and of “screening” possible dates ahead of time, making it an appealing and sensible alternative.
However, online “meetings” have their downside: it’s generally easier for an individual to misrepresent him- or herself on the web versus in person, where realtime personalities may differ widely from internet banter.
A somewhat less drastic repercussion of misrepresentation is disappointment (and not asking for a second date). But like “Omega,” some individuals deliberately prey on the lonely, looking for someone they feel they can dupe into doing their dirty work for them.
In addition to tips on avoiding internet dating dangers (which are easily searchable on the web), watch out for the following when looking for love online:
- An individual who wants too much, too soon. Super-rushed relationships may mean someone who’s hiding something, experts say.
- An individual who lives an unreasonable distance away. Yes, relationships can develop of their own accord even between international couples who meet up on the web based on shared interests or membership to a site or forum. But in general, if a person who lives very far away (particularly another country) deliberately and aggressively seeks a relationship, ask yourself why he or she doesn’t want to form a relationship with someone he or she has more access to.
- Someone who asks for special “favors”. If you haven’t met yet or if you’ve only met a handful of times and your paramour asks you to do a “big favor”–especially if it makes you uncomfortable—beware. If the “favor” involves mysterious packages, sending messages to an unknown party or sending money, it’s very possible he or she has been grooming you for just this purpose from the beginning…and you may be unwittingly engaging in criminal activity.
Above all, if anything about the relationship makes you question or gives you an uneasy feeling, be smart: discontinue the relationship. NEVER act overly needy and NEVER allow yourself to fall victim to someone who aggressively pursues you whether you want it or not. This way, you can weed out potential disasters to find someone who really is right for you.
